Jinx
by TheseAngelWings
Summary: When Legolas doesn't know what 'jinx' means, and Erestor wants to find out, what happens? Insanity, of course! crack!fic, at least my attempt at one.


**A/N: In which Arwen behaves dippily, Legolas must explain the term 'jinx', Erestor is confused, and Estel is of questionable intelligence. Also, a certain authoress breaks the Fourth Wall.**

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><p>"Hello, Arwen," said Legolas, walking to the center of the courtyard where she stood. "How are you?" Estel wandered up behind him, goggling at an orc-shaped cloud.<p>

"Kiss my athelas!" exclaimed Arwen. Legolas and Estel looked at her warily. "What? I'm trying out new phrases to use on anyone who challenges me," she explained innocently.

"Uh huh…" they said in unison.

"Jinx!" cried Legolas to Estel. "Got you!"

"What does this 'jinx' imply?" Erestor's voice startled the three young (for Legolas and Arwen, relatively young) people.

"Yeah, Legie! What does it imp- implie- implae- forget it," grumps Estel.

"It's something you do when you and another person say the same thing at the same time, which may or may not be on purpose, depending on the persons involved and the situations and/or previously discussed plans and ideas." Legolas rattled off an obviously memorized definition.

"Legolas? What does that mean, exactly?" Erestor asked, confused. Legolas looked like a deer caught in headlights- that is, if headlights were to be found in Middle Earth, and an unfortunate deer happened to cross paths with them.

"I don't know… My father never said I actually had to _know_." The elf looked distraught. Estel patted his shoulder consolingly.

"It's okay, Legie… I don't know much at all, and I'm," –he paused to sound it out- "destined to save Middle Earth!" he stated slowly. The scruffy Ranger had, by this time, drawn Arwen's attention.

"Oh, Estel! I am enamoured with your childish yet charming attempts to grasp the finer points of language!" she exclaimed.

"… I love you too?" Estel looked totally lost. Arwen let out a squeal and flung her arms around him. He moved to hug her back, but she knocked his hands away.

"Hands off my lembas, fool!" she said friskily.

"Okay," Estel said, without comprehending her words. He tried to hug her again. Arwen gave him a slap to be proud of (unless you were Estel).

"Holy Tinuviel," Estel began.

"Oh! You think I'm as beautiful as Tinuviel? I knew that already, but it's very sweet of you to say that. I love you even more!" Arwen beamed.

"Actually, I was gonna say 'Holy Tinuviel, that hurt', but okay," Estel mumbled. Arwen either didn't hear him properly or pretended not to hear him properly.

"Tinuviel, Tinuviel, he says," she sighed to the nearest tree. "Isn't he a _darling_!" Erestor and Legolas were watching the scene unfold, mouths open slightly. Erestor turned to Legolas.

"Please, finish your explanation of 'jinx' so that I can leave and put it in my archives," he requested.

"Uh," Legolas stalled for time.

Suddenly, there was a flash of lighting, and the world shook. When the air cleared, there stood a figure cloaked in black. Throwing back her hood, the girl gave everybody a frosty stare.

"I am-" she said.

"-The Great Authoress!" Erestor gasped at the exact moment that she finished her sentence.

"Jinx!" she yelled. "Ha!"

"What is the meaning of this 'jinx'?" screamed Erestor, pulling at his hair. The older elf looked crazy with lack of understanding. "You will tell me!" he bellowed, pointing at the The Great Authoress. His hair was disheveled, and his eyes gleamed malevolently.

"No one orders me around!" thundered TGA (The Great Authoress). "I am the one, the supreme-"

"Tell that to Sauron," interrupted Estel.

"What did you say, human?" asked TGA menacingly. A glow of power rose from her hands.

"Ooh, shiny," cooed Estel distractedly. TGA shot a bolt of light at the courtyard fountain behind Estel. It exploded.

"One last chance, mortal," she hissed, advancing towards him.

"Ooh, more shiny!" Estel's eyes were as wide as saucers as he gazed in the direction of the smouldering rubble.

"Estel!" shrieked Arwen, tackling him to the floor. Just in time, too, because the furious authoress shot another bolt of light that smashed into the remainder of the fountain. If Arwen had been any slower, Estel's head would have exploded.

"Oh, Estel," simpered Arwen. "I saved your life. Now kiss me!" Arwen puckered her lips and leaned forward.

"Gahhh," exclaimed Estel, scooting backwards. Legolas, meanwhile, was holding Erestor back. The scholar had been attempting to learn the meaning of 'jinx' by madly banging his head against a wall. Even for an elf, head banging was a dangerous pastime, as Legolas had learned the hard way.

"Erestor- stop! You must see sense, you old geezer!" Legolas tried insulting him to clear his head.

"What is the meaning of this 'jinx', this 'geezer'?" shrieked Erestor. He began shuddering, and broke free of Legolas' grip, intending to run crazily through Rivendell. Legolas, giving up, let him go.

TGA stared after him, looking confused. "That was odd," she said, dropping her menacing tone. "Anyway, I have homework to do, so I guess this is goodbye." There was another crack of lightning, and when the sky cleared, TGA was gone.

"… Homework?" asked Estel, confused. Arwen shushed him and attempted to kiss him again.

"What is the meaning of this?" thundered Elrond, striding into the courtyard. When no screams of terror greeted him, he looked around. "I said," he began.

"You missed TGA, Ada," said Arwen while darting around, foiling Estel's transparent attempts at an escape.

"Oh," the older elf said, disappointed. "I had a speech planned, and everything." As he and Legolas discussed the meaning of TGA's appearance, a crazy elf appeared on the horizon.

"What is 'jinx'?" he wailed, disappearing into the mountains.


End file.
